New Shoes

i woke up this morning a tad sore from the work-out yesterday. it didn't seem that hard but all the lunges got to my legs. i think it is good that i am finally doing something in the work-out other than running, i'll just have to be sore for a little while. so i stretched this morning before we left the room and this afternoon before i went to run and after the run. i did buy some new shoes today. they are last years version and were on sale, saucony pro-grid omni 8s. so i tried them out on the treadmill this afternoon to make sure they were going to fit right. they do seem wider than my under armour shoes. however, for the last little bit i felt like i was running on the inside right sole. i think i might be able to wear the right under armour shoe and left saucony and be fine.

anyway, i did 6 miles on the treadmill. i was running a little late so i didn't bother with the heart rate monitor again. i got on a different treadmill today to be more in front of the tv so i could look straight ahead. it was better, but the treadmill wasn't as good. it didn't show the route (when a hill was coming up etc) and it put in more hills at greater inclines for longer periods of time, i quickly went down a few levels, but still did the hill work-out. i really don't like running on a treadmill but it will have to do this week. around mile 4 i was feeling really good, i think finally figuring out how to run on a treadmill and i sped up for a little while. the treadmill would only do a 60 minute work-out so i had to stop and get on another machine (i couldn't get it out of the slow down mode) and finish. i did finish the last 6 and 1.2 minutes at a 6mph pace, a faster pace than any of the first 60 minutes.

when i was done, i came back to the room, stretched, took a shower and we went to eat. sitting for 20 minutes in the car got me a little tight, then we walked a little to the restaurant and sat for another 45 minutes. then i was really tight, walked back to the car and sat for another 20 minutes back to the hotel. i could barely walk back to the room. i feel better now, but i am not sure what is going to happen when i get in bed. could be really sore in the morning. oh well. tomorrow is another weight/core day on the new schedule.

thought of the day: when you are on vacation and plan on running, take your own, soft toilet paper. the mixture of running/sweating and the g.i. issues with all the different, new foods; plus cheap toilet paper makes one dread walking and using the bathroom.

Vacation, new program, and treadmills

being on vacation, i wasn't sure if i would get any runs in. i made it a point to get in a 4 mile run on saturday before we left. it was in the high 80s and the sun was killing me. much hotter than any runs i have done in a long time. at the half way point i was glad i had my cell phone because i thought i was going to have to call emily. i made it, however, and was burning up and sweating. i drank 2 gatorades as soon as i got in the house. here are my splits and heart rates:

.5= 5.09 141
1.0= 10.16 5.07 159
1.5= 15.19 5.03 164
2.0= 20.40 5.21 167 (here is where it starts getting hot and slow)
2.5= 26.05 5.24 164
3.0= 31.40 5.34 166
3.5= 37.30 5.49 166
4.0= 43.24 5.54 169

considering i wasn't sure i was gonna make it, i am happy to just have finished.

sunday i was taking as a rest day. luckily our hotel has a treadmill since i am not familiar with the area and we have spent most of our driving time lost. on our way here we stopped in knoxville and i went to gander mountain and they had a marathon training book on clearance. i thought it would be good to have to read. i am glad i bought it. the author makes a lot of sense and i think i am gonna try one of the schedules he has in his book. it is pretty similar for the most part to the schedule i was on so i can pick up in the middle.

anyway, after the beach on monday i was able to come back to the hotel and do 4 miles on the treadmill. i picked the hill work-out since treadmill running is not as hard as road running. it starts out level for a minute then incline for a minute then level for a minute and so on. the inclines gradually increase until you get to a 5% incline then they start back over at the smaller inclines. i did that workout for 4 miles (roughly) and it took me roughly 43 minutes to complete. i am not sure exactly because once i was wiping my sweat with a towel and hit the emergency stop switch and i am not sure where i was. i know i was over 10 minutes into it and over a mile distance, but that is all i am sure of. i didn't take splits or heart rates.

my new schedule had some basic weight training and core work-outs instead of no work-outs at all on days i haven't been running. so today i did the weights and core work-outs. together they do not take all that long, maybe 45 minutes. and you don't really use weights, just your body weight.

tomorrow i have a 6 mile run scheduled. i guess i will do the same hill work-out on the treadmill. i find it hard to run on a treadmill because i like to look at scenery and what is going on around me. in the training room there is only 1 tv to focus my attention on, and it is to the right, so i have to be careful to stay on the treadmill. the positive aspect was that i was running beside a man who was going 8.4 miles per hour and i kept up with him the entire time, he just couldn't pull ahead.

thought of the day: whenever you go to a new place, get a good map and know how to use it. do not depend on new technology to be able to guide you around. our gps seems to be off a little. emily is getting really good at turning around in tight spots.

Does Anybody Out There Even Care

finally, i got another run in this week. i went ahead and did the 6 miles i was supposed to do on wednesday. i wore some reflective slap bracelets/anklets that emily had bought for me since i was starting the run after 8pm. they wore horrible blisters across the back of my achilles tendons. ouch. but when i was running i couldn't make myself stop to take them off. my calves were pretty sore, the hills really got me, not that there are any big hills, just long ones. by the time i get to the top of one of the hills i feel like i am barely moving, then speed up a little until the next hill. around mile 3.5 the wind started blowing and it felt good. but it didn't stop, luckily it was at my back until i turned around at mile 4, then it was in my face, the gusts had to be at least 25 miles an hour. there was also a very dark cloud just over me, i was pretty worried. i thought i was going to have to stop at a house and call emily to come get me. however, there was no lightning, and all the houses where i was were Amish. wondered if they had phones at all. i kept running and knew there were houses that weren't Amish that probably had phones where i would hit 4.5-5 miles. i kept running and the wind kept getting stronger, i was hoping emily would just come pick me up. finally, as i got to the 6 mile mark it started sprinkling a little and i saw emily coming in my truck. i took the slap anklets off and could tell i had some bad blisters. anyway, here are my .5 mile split times and heart rates:

.5= 4.52 145
1.0= 9.56 5.03 162
1.5= 15.17 5.21 163
2.0= 20.35 5.17 165
2.5= 26.00 5.24 164
3.0= 31.24 5.24 167
3.5= 36.49 5.24 165
4.0= 42.18 5.28 170
4.5= 47.43 5.24 168
5.0= 53.18 5.35 164
5.5= 58.54 5.35 164
6.0= 64.15 5.21 166

that gives me a 10:42 min/mile pace. not too bad, i thought i might be a little faster since i had so much rest. i think i need to start stretching again before my runs to get my calves and legs warmed up.

hopefully i can get a 4 mile run in tomorrow before we leave on vacation and be able to run a little while we are gone and then pick up when we get back.

thought of the day: this is a quote from one of the songs on the ipod i use. it is a song by Lenny Kravitz "does anybody know how many lives we've lost, does anybody ever count the cost, what will it take for us to join in peace my fiends, does anybody out there even care." and you probably thought the title of this post was directed at my blog :). i often feel like people don't care about the things that seem important to me. i guess i may not care that much about things that are important to others. i guess what is important is that we care about something . just make sure it is truly important. but as the song says, we should all be working towards peace with others, if we all focused on caring about love we could accomplish lots.

Uh Oh, 4 miles, all week?

well, i have not done very well this week. i got my run in on monday, but that has been it. yesterday when i got home i just felt really tired, not that i did much physically during the day, i just felt tired. i think i went to bed too late the night before. feeling so tired and the temperature so hot, it was pretty easy to just put off the run. the bad thing is i was going to have to squeeze some runs in to stay on track since we are leaving on vacation saturday afternoon. i thought about running this morning but i had a 7am meeting across town and new i would have to get up really early to get 6 miles in. then i knew i was going to run this afternoon. however, i got home and it looked like thunderstorms and the sky turned a very odd color, i thought it best not to chance it. so i am not sure what i am going to do. i am going to try to go to bed early and run in the morning, 6 miles. maybe i can get up and run 4 on Saturday and get somewhat back on track. no thought of the day today, other than i have to get my butt up in the morning and run!

4 On The Slow Side

i got to volunteer for about 5 hours at a youth hunting camp in buchanan, tn today. it was pretty good. the kids shot 22s, did some of the ropes course, shot bows, and played a few games in the pond (picking up duck decoys from a canoe, decoy long toss, etc.). then i came home and relaxed for a little and ate while i got pumped up for my run.

i did the scheduled 4 miles. once again i waited until it was near sundown to run. it did seem a little cooler, probably because it wasn't as humid, i guess. my breathing was a little easier this evening too. however, my calves were a little sore so my running wasn't very fast. here are my .5 mile splits and heart rates:

.5= 4.54 149
1.0= 10.05 5.10 164
1.5= 15.15 5.10 167
2.0= 20.44 5.28 169
2.5= 26.12 5.28 169
3.0= 31.40 5.28 167
3.5= 36.51 5.10 168
4.0= 42.04 5.13 171

i thought it was pretty amazing how all of my .5 mile splits were either 5.10 or 5.28 except my first and last and the last was only 3 seconds off 5.10. that gives me a pace of right at 10:31min/mile. that's not too bad i don't guess. i just wish it would cool down a little so i could breath better and run faster. however, for now i am just happy to be finishing.

thought of the day: "The highest reward for a person's toil is not what they get for it, but what they become by it."– John Ruskin i think this is the reason i am trying to run a marathon, not for the simple fact to be able to say that i have run a marathon, but so i can become a stronger, healthier person and be a much better elk/turkey hunter. i think everyone should choose something in life that will challenge them to be a better person in some way. i think running makes me a better person in many ways. it makes me stronger physically and spiritually, knowing that i have to rely on something stronger than myself to get me through my runs (i really wasn't born a runner).

First Races in 20 Years (or close to it)

today i ran my first 2 races in about 20 years, and my first race over a 5k ever. for the first mile my stomach was in knots. i am not sure why, but i was so nervous. maybe it was not knowing the course or the competition of the race. i knew i could do the 6.2 miles, i think i was just worried that there might be too many hills, or i would get too hot or something else would go wrong. this was the longest i had run during daylight in a long time. the weather was kind of cool to start, it was cloudy and actually thundering a little with just a sprinkle here and there. i did one big no no. i put different insoles in my shoes before the race. insoles that i use in my work boots and are very comfortable and supportive. however, the heel cushion was a little too much. i wasn't looking at this as a race but more of a training run, so i thought it would be fine to switch something around, wish i hadn't. i have a hot spot on my left heel that is still hurting me a little to walk nearly 12 hours after the race. my heel did finally quit hurting during the race at about the 5 mile mark. i finished in pretty good time, i was hoping to keep it under 11 miles per minute and really gonna try for 10:30 minute miles. i finished right at 10 minute miles. luckily i found a woman who's pace was where i could keep up and followed her to the 1/2 way point where she slowed to get a drink. i knew she was a client but didn't think she recognized me. as she slowed down i was going around her and she said "aren't you dr. sykes?" so for about the next 1/4 mile she wanted to talk. i am not good at talking and running. she didn't have a watch and asked me for the race time. at mile 5, after keeping back for a little, i ran back up to her, gave her an update on the race time and then went ahead and finished a little ahead of her.

for the 5k i dried off, got a little water and switched shirts, socks and shoes. i knew i was going to keep this at a little slower pace. i finished it right at a 10:24 min/mile pace. i was happy with that. the rough part of the race was at the end, i had heard some footsteps coming behind me for a while and i was content at finishing at my pace. however, as the footsteps got a few feet away my competitive spirit took over and i could hear people cheering (i think they were wanting to see the other runner pass me for a race at the end, or that is what my mind told me) so i broke out into a full-out sprint to the finish. the 5k was much hotter than the 10k. the sun was out and there didn't seem to be any shade. i got really hot at the end but cooled off pretty quick. i knew i needed to eat since i hadn't eaten much all day. i went into the registration area and got a few orange slices and some fruit chews. i had a cooler with some dr. peppers and drank one of them.

then i went into work and did a c-section. i think i should have drank more before the c-section because during it (it took about 1.5 hours) i started getting a bad headache. that headache has just gone away. i tried to take a nap, since i only got about 5 hours of sleep last night, but it was like i couldn't cool off. i did nap for about 30 min though. i got up and ate some food, started drinking as much as i could then took a cool shower. i feel much better now.

thoughts of the day: after a hot run, cool off fast and get plenty of fluids, don't try new insoles for a race, even if you don't plan on running that hard. even if you think you are not trying to do beat people in a race, you will try with everything you have at the finish, after all, it is the end of the race and it will all be over soon.

Rest and Sad History

today is not a running day, good thing, my legs need a break, especially if i plan to finish the race tomorrow. i have to run 9.3 miles in the morning then head to the clinic (on my saturday off) and do a scheduled c-section. you ask who would schedule a c-section on their day off? well you probably know that puppies don't wait around for me to be working to be born and i don't think they will make it to monday (which is also my day off). hoepfully i will be able to finish the run an then have enough energy to do the surgery.

anyway, i was just looking at my running times from last year and it was sad. of course this year i skipped a couple of weeks in the first part of the schedule and that may have something to do with it. however, i had one 3 mile run at 26.21, blowing away my fastest 3 miles this year by over 2 minutes. i ran 7 miles at 9:30 min/mile, 11 miles at 9:54 min/mile, and 12 miles at 10:05 min/mile! those are all much faster than what i have been doing them in this year. tomorrow i only have to run 9.3 miles so maybe that will give my legs a little break, i am definitely not trying to set any records.

i think i am gonna try to go to colorado for about 5 days to elk hunt, so i really need to start shooting my bow some, i just had the string replaced last week. i hope that hunting trip doesn't get in the way of my running (i almost feel ashamed of saying that).

well, it's 5:30 and the clinic is closing and if i don't leave i will be locked in, gotta go, no thought of the day or spell check, gotta go.

GPS, where am i

the internet at the house has been down for a couple of days so i have not been able to blog. so i will write about my last 2 runs tonight here at the office. (quickly, emily is going to kill me if i don't get home). last night i ran the scheduled 5 miles. the pace was 10:15 min/mil, not bad for me, actually my fastest 5 miles all year so far. i ran a little earlier than usual, it was a tad cooler, there was a slight breeze, and it was not quite as humid. my legs felt a little better than on monday's run. here are my .5 mile splits and heart rates:

.5= 4.56 148
1.0= 10.00 5.03 166
1.5= 15.00 4.59 169
2.0= 20.07 5.07 171
2.5= 25.21 5.14 170
3.0= 30.35 5.14 169
3.5= 35.45 5.10 168
4.0= 40.53 5.07 169
4.5= 46.07 5.14 169
5.0= 51.14 5.07 173

not too bad, i kept a pretty consistent pace most of the time.

tonight my gps quit working for a short while. i ran for 42 minutes, not exactly sure how far i ran but on monday it took me 40:22 to run 4 miles and i am pretty sure i went just as fast tonight, i felt much better. it was much cooler, but still very humid. there was also a little breeze. my shins did hurt pretty bad but that pain went away (for the most part) not long after i had been running. breathing was much easier tonight.

thought of the day: i passed a girl while i was running. she was leaving one of the offices back behind the clinic and heading to her car i guess. maybe she could tell i was sweating quite a bit and having to work to keep the pace i was at. she looked at me and said, "don't try to be a hero, don't try to be a hero." i just wondered what else you were supposed to be in life. maybe not someone who is trying to save lives everyday, but someone who is trying to have a positive impact on the world every day. i think if you can do that, you are a hero. to her i say "don't be a zero" make your life count for something positive. even if no one remembers you when you are gone, at least you counted while you were here. just my thought.

Another Hard Run

4 was on the schedule for today. i started about 10 min earlier than usual and about 5 min into the run i wished i hadn't. it was not that hot (only 78) but it was so humid. it took me about a mile before i could breath right. my lungs, once again felt like they couldn't expand. my legs felt like jello, i guess from the 10 miler the other day. i started off at a good pace but i knew it was too fast the way i was breathing. here are my splits and heart rates at .5 mile increments:

.5= 4.37 154
1.0= 9.33 4.56 170
1.5= 14.37 5.03 170
2.0= 20.02 5.24 169
2.5= 25.12 5.10 166
3.0= 30.23 5.10 166
3.5= 35.33 5.10 167
4.0= 40.22 4.49 172

i pushed it the last mile, especially up the last big hill, so i finished pretty strong, somehow. i was trying to keep a 10 min/mile pace, i was just over at 10:055.

thought of the night: it is getting late, i am tired and on call tomorrow night. good night and God bless.

Tough 10

i did the 10 miles scheduled today, it was pretty tough. i think it was because i was looking at it like it was the longest run i have done all year. the humidity and heat didn't help. i did start out at a slow pace, hoping i would not tire myself towards the end. at mile 8 i felt like i wasn't really controlling my legs, they were just somehow moving, slowly. i kept thinking "i have this many more miles to go" instead of my usual "i only have this much left." finally about 1/2 way i changed my mindset. i knew there was no way i could quit, even though my mind told me i should several times. whenever i felt bad i would take a little sip of gatorade and that would keep me going a little bit longer. on the back part of the road i run on, that has lots of crops and livestock, the bugs were killing me. i nearly swallowed 5-6 bugs. between miles 9.5 and 10, when i thought i was feeling pretty good and trying to finish strong, a bug flew into each eye. that is annoying.

here are my splits and heart rates at 1/2 mile increments:

.5= 5.14 153
1.0= 10.39 5.24 165
1.5= 16.11 5.32 166
2.0= 21.47 5.35 168
2.5= 27.30 5.42 167
3.0= 33.09 5.39 170
3.5= 38.41 5.32 169
4.0= 44.16 5.35 170
4.5= 50.03 5.46 169
5.0= 56.00 5.57 170
5.5= 62.00 6.00 168
6.0= 67.57 5.57 167
6.5= 74.01 6.06 165
7.0= 79.59 5.57 168
7.5= 85.59 6.00 166
8.0= 91.56 5.57 165
8.5= 98.29 6.32 163 (i knew i was getting tired here)
9.0= 104.51 6.22 163
9.5= 111.13 6.22 164
10.0= 117.24 6.11 162

at the 8 mile mark i was about 2:36 minutes faster than my 8 miles last week, i am pretty surprised by that. overall not a bad run. my pace was 11:45, 4 seconds faster than my pace last saturday on the 8 mile run. the last 2 miles really got me.

thought of the day: "To change one's life: 1. Start immediately. 2. Do it flamboyantly. 3. No exceptions." – William James. i was trying to get one of my co-workers to start lifting weights during our lunch break the other day and trying to get him to do a little aerobic exercise during the week too. he asked "when are we going to start?" i said today. he replied, "oh lets start next week, this week is almost over." that told me he probably wasn't going to lift weights with me. i guess i take a little less motivation that others, or little things motivate me more than the average person. to me life is too short, and can end too quickly, to start something i want to do or get done tomorrow. i guess the key is something i WANT to do or get done. i have a hard time with things like cleaning the house. there are just so many other things that excite me.

Fastest This Year

i did my 5 miles last night, i think. my gps quit working so i am not sure exactly how far i went. i figured the battery was low just before i started the run but i was running here by the house and knew i had the mileage marked. however, when i got to the 3.5 mile area there was a lot of grass lying on the road where they had just mowed. so i am not sure how far i went, but i am pretty sure that i went at least 5 miles and maybe a little over. i started the run about 8pm so it was a little cooler but it was still very humid. when i got done i took my sweatband off and wrung out the sweat, twice. i think it was so humid that after i wrung it out the first time it soaked up water from the air. not really but it was very humid, i don't do well running, or working, or doing much of anything in high humidity. i did run for 53:04 minutes. my heart rate stayed around 171 and i felt pretty good. the lightening that was to my north (i was running south) probably got me going a little faster.

tonight i ran 3 miles, my fastest 3 miles this year, still not a great time but it was faster than normal at 28:49. i am too tired to figure out my pace right now. once again it was extremely humid, especially when i started out. i ran in my new shoes, with the footsleeves cut out and my feet felt much better. my left foot (the wider one) did hurt a little on the outside just after the run. here are my splits (i did put new batteries in the gps unit) in 1/2 mile increments:

.5= 4:30 148
1.0= 9:08 4:38 171
1.5= 14:01 4:52 174
2.0= 19:01 4:59 173
2.5= 23:54 4:52 174
3.0= 28:49 4:56 177

each split was under 5 minutes so i feel pretty good about that, but it was tough with the high humidity and everyone cutting their grass.

thought of the day: "it is so humid out there you could stir it with a stick" that may not be an original quote but it was said by one of my business partners last week. i think the humidity also makes it hard to run, kind of like resistance when running through water. i guess it will make it easier when the humidity goes down.

i did order a bracelet and necklace i.d. to wear when i run, so i don't get hit by a car with no i.d. on me. on the necklace (looks like a "dog tag") the information is on the back and you get to choose from a lot of pictures or sayings to be engraved on the front. i got a fat turtle running on the front because that is what i feel like when i run, funny i had just written about the tortoise and the hare on monday.

Good Start To Another Week

i did my scheduled 3 today. once again i waited until pretty late (7:45pm) to let it cool down. once again it was still humid. i started out trying to get a better time today since i felt good and yesterday was a rest day. i think i really over did it to start and that hurt my final time. after the first 1/2 mile i was trying to recover the rest of the run. i wore my new shoes today. they did much better, but about 1 and 1/2 miles they really started hurting my feet. the pain went away until i stopped and i couldn't get my shoes off fast enough. i had to cut the foot sleeves out of the shoes (even after i took the shoes off, the thought of the foot sleeve on my foot was unbearable). my foot was hurting right where the foot sleeve crossed my foot. i then put the shoes back on and they felt great. will probably not wear them on my 5 mile run on wednesday but will try them again on thursday for another 3 miler. here are my time splits and heart rate at 1/2 mile increments:

.5= 4:24 (too fast) 168
1.0= 9:35 5:10 173
1.5= 15:07 5:31 170
2.0= 20:53 5:46 164
2.5= 26:29 5:35 165
3.0= 31:50 5:21 172

that is a little better than average of what i have been running but not as good as i was hoping. i did finish pretty strong though, probably would've had a better overall time if i had not tried to push so hard at the beginning. oh well.

thought of the day: like the hare, we must learn to pace ourselves at the beginning of the race so we don't run out of steam at the end. sometimes it is better to be steady than too push too hard. but i bet the turtle never got much faster.

A Break, I Guess You Could Say That, At Least From Running

well, it had been over a week since i ran. being on call for 4 days in a row really set me back. it took all week and then some to catch up on rest. i decided on thursday i needed one more day so on friday i had to run. i decided i would do 3 miles to get my legs stretched after a long lay-off. so i did 3 miles with my new shoes. to start i could really tell the new shoes were helping my stride, i felt like for so long i had been fighting my shoes and now they were helping me. that was until 1/2 mile when i could tell the sides of my feet were really hurting. my feet hurt the rest of the run, bad. then they hurt worse when i stopped, like i stepped on a knife blade with both feet. my time was 32.10, which is about average for me. i tried to wait until it had cooled off but it was still muggy and every time i ran by a newly cut yard i thought my lungs weren't going to expand at all. my entire body felt so tight. here are my times and heart rates in 1/2 mile increments:

.5= 4:48 161
1.0= 9:27 4:38 176
1.5= 14:59 5:32 174
2.0= 20:41 5:42 174
2.5= 26:13 5:32 173
3.0= 32:10 5:57 173

the first mile was pretty good and then i slowed down a bit.

i was going to run 5 on saturday just to get back into it a little then i thought i had already ran 8 miles before so i could surely do it again. i waited until sunset because it was so hot during the day. i forgot to put my camelback in the back pack before i filled it up with water, no problem i just zipped it into on of the pockets on the back. i felt pretty good even though i was running miles 1.5 through 8 on a road with no street lights, pretty much completely in the dark. the wind was up a little, felt pretty good and kept the mosquitoes from all the ponds from attacking me. at mile 4.5 my camelback fell out of the zippered pocket and i had to stop and put it back in at a walk. that slowed me down a little. then emily picked me up at mile 8 so i didn't have to run on the busy road after dark. other than her picking me up i didn't see a single car on the road i was running. i wore my old shoes with some different inserts and my feet felt good until i stopped and then my plantar tendon was a little painful. here are my splits and heart rate in 1/2 mile increments:

.5= 5.06 152
1.0= 10.34 5.28 165
1.5= 16.10 5.35 166
2.0= 22.04 5.53 169
2.5= 28.04 6.00 169
3.0= 34.26 6.22 171
3.5= 40.23 5.57 172
4.0= 46.20 5.57 171
4.5= 52.56 6.36 169
5.0= 58.08 6.11 168
5.5= 65.12 6.04 169
6.0= 71.16 6.04 170
6.5= 77.17 6.00 169
7.0= 83.06 5.49 171
7.5= 88.56 5.49 172
8.0= 94.32 5.35 177

near the end of the run i was feeling pretty good and my increments after mile 4.5 kept getting faster (or the same as the last 1/2 mile) and i was able to finish pretty strong.

thought of the day:"I always wondered why somebody doesn't do something about that. Then I realized I was somebody."– Lily Tomlin. this quote reminds me of a book i read about a year ago called "QBQ- the question behind the question". it is about taking responsibility for things instead of blaming others. it really goes into more depth than that but it has really opened my eyes to the way i view things that happen in life, takes about a day or less to read.